On Friday, September 24th, one of our closest friends lost her father in a plane crash. I still distinctly remember getting a phone call from Christa at a little before midnight on the 24th and being crushed by the pain in her voice. Her dad was gone. While a number of emotions whirled inside of me (I need to pray, I need to comfort her, I need to head to their house...), the one I couldn't get past was "I can't believe we've lost Chuck." I couldn't even comprehend it. How could this man, who truly was larger than life, actually be gone? I thought of all the times Christa and her husband John had prayed for my dad in his fight with his cancer, yet now she was suddenly having to deal with the loss of her dad. I struggled to believe that it could actually be true. As the injustice, pain, and loss began to mount and the tears welled up in my eyes I was overcome with grief for my friends. It's a night I will never forget.
The days and weeks following his death were highlighted by the outpouring of love towards him and his family. Though shocked and reeling his wife Elaine and his three daughters (Christa, Jenelle, and Tiffany) mustered the strength to stand together and give him an unbelievable goodbye at his funeral a week later. Maria and I were fortunate enough to be able to fly to Canada to attend the funeral, and it was a day that changed my life forever. It has helped redefine for me what it truly means to live "A Successful Life" - and I just briefly want to capture the essence of what I learned that day...the "success" I want to aim for.
Chuck Matson lived what every person would describe as a "successful life." Now, typically that definition is used to describe a variety of things (all of which Chuck qualifies for). First, he was incredibly successful professionally. He took a stellar career in sales and turned an entrepreneurial drive into his own phenomenally successful business in the oil and gas industry. He excelled in business in ways that few can match. Next, he was an incredibly successful family man. He was married for over 30 years to the love of his life, a woman that cherished him and the husband he was. He raised three beautiful daughters, each bright and loving, and each adoring their father and identifying him as their one true hero. Next, he was an incredibly successful friend. One by one each speaker at the funeral would identify him as their "best friend" - each passionately describing the way Chuck had personally changed their lives. Christa proudly told me in the weeks after his death that 20+ people identified him this way, with countless others (like me) who had only met him a few times describing him as one of their favorite people. Next, he was a successful mentor. Chuck was someone who was always investing in someone else, speaking truths and helping them realize their full potential. Next, he was a successful hobbyist. Chuck was an accomplished golfer, wakeboarder, boater, etc. You name it, he did it...and did it well. He also was an accomplished pilot, and though he lost his life this way, his reputation and performance as a pilot was impeccable. Next, he loved God. If there was an overarching theme of his life, it was his deep and abiding love for his savior Jesus Christ. It permeated every aspect of his life. It's what made him who he was. It's what led him to Haiti on a mission trip last year. It was what compelled him to pass on email devotionals, prayers, and words of encouragement to just about everyone he knew. Chuck loved God so much, and because he loved God, he loved people...and clearly people loved him. I have never attended a funeral with so many in attendance. By any definition of success, when thousands of people weep at the loss of your life, you clearly have lived a life worth living. I sat there that day in awe of his golden touch....success in every area of his life. Chuck Matson, just like my dad, was an example of a man I want to be and I will never forget him.
While I am someone who desires in life to achieve much and to be "successful" I clearly can find much motivation in Chuck's story. However, there was something that touched me more than anything else, and to me, it's what defines his greatest "success"....the faith of his daughters. Here you have three girls who just lost their father, their hero, their rock at the age of 51. This was a shock to them like they will never experience again. The injustice of a good man, a good friend, and an even better dad losing his life at such a young age would be enough for any sane person to question the nature of a loving God. Reasonable people would frustratingly say that clearly a good and just God would not allow a man like Chuck to die and leave his family scrambling to fill the gaping hole he'd left behind. In my own anger with God I expected to find the same in Christa, Jenelle, and Tiffany. Instead I found strength. I found intimacy. I found unshakable faith. One by one each girl confirmed that "even though they walk through the valley of the shadow of death they fear no evil, for God is with them." In the face of the greatest loss of their lives, they chose to praise God. Not blame Him. Not hate Him. Praise Him. They chose to love their God just as their father did in the face of ALL things....even the worst things. They turned to scripture and found strength. They led all of us (their family and friends at a loss for words in what to say) and showed us that what to say is that "God is good." Wow. Wow. While they wept and wept at the loss of their father, through their tears they somehow found the strength to embrace their heavenly one.
This struck me like few things ever have in life. What to me is a successful life? I began to think of my two daughters, Kinley and Emery. I began to think about the day that they will have to stand strong after I die. I can think of no greater legacy...no greater benchmark of success...then for my two girls to find the strength to praise their Savior in the face of that loss. You see....God is good all the time. It's a truth that should define each of our lives. But it's something that is so hard to put in practice. Yet Chuck Matson found a way to raise his three girls to heed that lesson, to understand it's overwhelming truth. Chuck's greatest legacy is not his wealth or his number of friends or any of his long list of accomplishments...to me it's that he loved God so much that his girls learned to do the same. Oh how he must be beaming with pride in heaven looking down at his three girls praising God confidently knowing that God will never leave them or forsake them. THAT is what matters. THAT is success.Chuck knew this, and it's why his love for Jesus defined his life.
My sincere hope and my sincere prayer is that I can impact the lives of my girls the way that Chuck did his. I hope that I can be the father that he was, that my dad is, that my girls love me because of all the different ways I try and make an impact in their lives. However, in the end, more than all that, I want them to develop a deep deep love for God. A love so deep and so strong that even when they lose someone they love, like their dad, they know that God is still good and above all else he still loves them.
If I can help my girls learn that, I can confidently know that I led a "successful life."
-- Scott
PS - here is a picture of their beautiful family. Maria and I love each of them dearly. Please pray for them.
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