"Congratulations Dad!"

Our daughter, Kinley Tareena Gates, was born on May 18, 2010. If you do math quickly you will realize that I have been a dad for two weeks now. Yet still (even after several weeks) my heart begins to pound every time a friend or relative refers to me as "Dad." Wow. I am a Dad. Four years ago, when Maria and I started trying to have a baby, being a dad was just a foregone conclusion. It was a certainty. However as a year of heartache and disappointment turned to into a second year of doubt and sadness....there were many moments in my conversations with God in which I expressed sincere doubt to my belief that someday He would give me the opportunity to raise a child.

Four years is a long time to wait and I passed time in multiple ways. I'd cry. I'd plead. I'd wonder how it would happen. I'd stop believing it would happen. I'd find comfort in Genesis and the promises made to Abraham. I'd hold Maria and promise her she would be a mother. I'd love on the kids of our friends. I'd laugh. I'd cry again. I'd find a new career that focused on children. I'd paint a nursery. I'd repaint a nursery. I'd go on mission trips. I'd love my family. I'd make mistakes. I'd make more mistakes. I'd hope. I'd give up hope. I'd travel the world with my beautiful wife. I'd read scripture with new perspective. I'd rediscover the intimacy of my Savior. I'd rest in His Will. I'd remain faithful. But mostly, I'd pray. I'd pray with my wife. I'd pray with my friends. I'd pray driving to work. I'd pray in the shower. I'd pray when I was angry, sad, happy, etc. I'd pray...and pray...and pray. And faithfully God was always listening...

"Congratulations Dad!"

I still remember the first time I heard those words two weeks ago. My heart stopped. All of the crying, the waiting, the hoping, and the praying flashed before me in an instant. It was as if God was giving me a front row seat to see the glory of His hand. Four years in an instant. God knew all along....this was His plan...this was His gift. Kinley Tareena Gates. 4.6 lbs. 18.5". God didn't waste one ounce of my pain. He broke my heart, broke my will, and created in me and my wife an utter dependence to rely and trust in Him. Finally we listened. He lead me to a special calling towards orphaned children. He lead our heart to adoption. He lead us to the most incredible birth mother (who we now love like a sister). He lead me into a special friendship with the birth father. He lead us to our daughter-to-be. He lead me to this moment....

"Congratulations Dad!"

What a moment. What a feeling. I'm a dad.

-- Scott

"To the faithful you show yourself faithful.." Psalm 18:25. God is so good. With a daughter this beautiful, I can safely say that it was most definitely worth the wait. I am so in love with this little girl....my Kinley.

Photos were taken by our great friend and photographer Karie Denny
Please visit her blog: kariedennyphoto.blogspot.com

Dear Kinley

Dear Kinley,

It has been four days since you entered into this world, the NICU, and forever into our hearts. My favorite thing to do is hold you. Every time I hold you, everything else melts away. This week has been filled with tears of joy, elation, stress, and worry...but when I hold you, there is only love. You are an indescribable gift from God. I wish you could know how long I prayed for you. How long I ached to hold to you. I wish you could know how much I love you. How many people love you. How much God loves you. I can't wait to tell you. I can't wait to tell you about our God. He is a God of mercy, a God of compassion, and a God of faithfulness. He has faithfully answered our prayers for a child. You are the answer to those prayers baby girl. My hope is that as you grow and you come to know your story, you will know that above all else, you can trust God. Trust Him with your hopes, trust Him with your dreams, trust Him with your life. He is faithful. 

I cannot wait to take you home. I cannot wait to show you your room. I cannot wait to feed you at 2 am. I cannot wait to braid your hair, take you to Disneyland, make you Mickey Mouse pancakes, and have you climb in between us in bed. But mostly, I cannot wait until you are mine to hold forever. Until then, I will wait...deeply longing, patiently trusting, and faithfully praying. I love you more than words can express Kinley. Come home soon.

Love,

Mommy

The Courage of Birth Parents

As we have embarked on the journey of adoption toward Baby Kinley we have received tremendous encouragement and support from friends and family. Statements such as, "We think that is such a great thing," "We admire what you are doing," and "We are so proud of you for adopting," have been tremendous words of encouragement to us.  However, as we have begun to walk this road, we have developed such deep respect and admiration for Kinley's birth parents...Tareena and Riley. This post is titled, "The Courage of Birth Parents" because it has taken tremendous courage and resolve to make the decisions they've made. When two young people find out they are pregnant it can be one of the scariest moments of their life. The fear of not being ready to raise a child. The fear of guilt. The fear of costs and implications. This fear can be paralyzing and it takes tremendous courage to overcome it. However, as is often the case in life, with great fear of the unknown there is also great opportunity. Opportunity to lean on family and friends for love and support. Opportunity to overcome your fear with love. Opportunity to turn to God. And of course, opportunity to bless a family who has prayed for years for a baby. You see, the courage shown by birth parents is courage that we all should admire. While there are paths available that could make their problem disappear, they instead choose the difficult path...and that takes courage. That courage is why we so admire Kinley's birth parents. It's not easy to give birth to a baby when you don't have to...but her parents did. It's not easy to be willing to meet prospective families and entertain adoption...her parents did. It's not easy to tell your story and explain why you're not ready to be a parent...but her parents did. And lastly, it's not easy to commit to letting another set of parents raise that baby...but her parents did. Their courage has changed our lives forever. They have given us the greatest gift anyone has ever given us. It is for this reason we all should admire birthparents of adopted children. We should pray for them. We should encourage them. And we should love them. That last one comes easy for us. Riley and Tareena will always have a special place in our heart. Everyday we are blessed to care for Kinley, we will never forget the courage it took to get her into our arms.


-- Scott and Maria

Wow.

Wow...is all I can say about the past few weeks. It's insane to think that the first blog entry below was written only a few short weeks ago and yet so much has changed since then! Tareena (Kinely's birth mother) was admitted to the hospital last week in pre-term labor. They've been able to keep little Kinley cooking in there, but it looks like we will have a baby sometime next week. Wow. She will be 34 weeks at birth. "Are you ready?" --a question that frequents our ears. Is anyone ever really ready? Now that it is so close, I cannot even imagine what ready looks like. For an organized, triple A personality such as myself, the reality of not even being able to picture what a state of readiness would look like is mind boggling. And yet I find myself not as worried as one would think. :-) I am not stressed out about the nursery not being ready, or the rocking chair not being re-upholstered, or the fact that I've only read 50 pages of "What to Expect the First Year." Every day since Tareena went into the hospital, worry after worry has passed away. Concern after concern, doubt upon doubt, and yes, even commitment upon commitment...have slowly melted away. I haven't cooked in two weeks. My house is a wreck. The laundry is sky high. But suddenly all that matters in the whole world is our little girl. Tareena and Kinley have stolen our hearts. I guess this is where it begins! --Maria

"Do not fear what this day, or any day, may bring your way. Concentrate on trusting Me and on doing what needs to be done. Relax in My sovereignty, remembering that I go before you, as well as with you, into each day. Fear no evil, for I bring good out of every situation you will ever encounter."