Hello Everyone, I cannot begin to thank you enough for your thoughts and prayers and encouragements this weekend. I wish I could thank everyone personally, but the outpouring has been amazing. I am so encouraged by how many people are praying for my dad. We love him so much and are very hopeful as we give you this update!!!!!! (from my mom).... I want to be sure to update you all on the special request Maria posted last week. Steve's blood work was good and he was able to start his third round of chemo today!
Thank you all for your thoughts, prayers, and encouragement. Maria told you it would take divine intervention and I am here to tell you that I witnessed that miracle today. There were so many reasons that Steve should not have been able to receive the chemo today, yet each hurdle was met and conquered!
We owe so much to all of you; please know that you are making a difference. Your prayers are being heard and answered. God bless you and thank you.
Steve now needs the strength to endure the nasty side-effects of the chemo. It took an immense amount of courage for Steve to take on this final round, knowing how bad the side-effects have been and understanding that they will likely be worse this time as the cumulative effect takes place.
Our hope and prayer is that he will remain strong and determined. He needs that strength and determination to battle the daily challenges of physical and emotional pain, exhaustion, and even extreme mental strain. Though this is the final week of treatments, it may be the most difficult.
Thank you for being here for us as we walk through this journey. You are all a great source of strength and comfort.
Hello Friends, Well we are wrapping up week 6 of my dad's treatment and headed into week 7. Next Wednesday is his final radiation treatment! We are very happy he is nearing the end of this treatment. The radiation has really taken a toll on my dad's skin on his neck, but it doesn't seem like the scleroderma has flared up in that area, which is a huge answer to prayer. He is still able to turn his neck well. Thank you all for your prayers! So the current and very urgent prayer request is this: Protocol for this cancer is 7 weeks of radiation and 3 rounds of chemotherapy. Due to the severity of the symptoms and bloodwork results, the doctor reduced Steve's 2nd chemo dose by 15%. And he still has one round to go. Unfortunately, the chemo is so rough on the body that some people are not able to get that third dose. We are praying praying praying that he would not be in that category! It's a double edged sword of course because we know (and he knows) that the third round will be rough. But we also know that receiving the full treatment will give him the best chances of beating this and avoiding recurrence. We also want to avoid an extensive surgery after all this to clean up anything the radiation and chemo missed. Two things need to happen on/by MONDAY MORNING in order for my dad to receive his third round of chemo. 1.) His blood work needs to show that his body can handle the third round. 2.) He needs to be physically and mentally able/willing to receive the third dose. I'm going to give two things to you very straight at this point in the post because I want you to join me in praying specifically and intentionally this weekend if you are willing. 1.) My dad is very sick. He is experiencing rough side effects from the chemo that are very uncomfortable and frankly exhausting for him to deal with. His mouth has been so blasted with radiation that it is incredibly difficult for him to chew, swallow, talk, and even hard to breathe at times. The various GI issues he's dealing with as a result of the chemo are making it difficult for him to be willing to do a third round. We do not know how his blood work will look. But we do know that he has dropped a fair amount of weight and is having difficulty getting the nutrition he needs. I truly believe it is going to take divine intervention this weekend to give his body and mind the strength he needs to do this. 2.) My dad is an amazing person and I have seen him do amazing things. And even more importantly, we serve an amazing God who can do MIRACULOUS things. This is not beyond His power. This is not beyond His reach. But it is more than my dad can handle in his own strength. I believe it's more than he can bear without leaning heavily into the strength of Jesus Christ who CAN do all things. This is one of those trials in life that can only be walked through by allowing God to carry you. I have never been in as much physical pain as my dad is currently experiencing. But I believe my soul has. In the hardest, darkest days of our infertility struggle I reached a point where I could no longer pray. It was as if there was nothing left to say. I wasn't mad at God, I wasn't having a crisis of faith, I was just exhausted. And I felt like everything I had to say had already been said. It just became too painful to talk to God. Those were the times I prayed to the Spirit and asked him to intercede in my weakness. (Romans 8:26) I would lay in bed curled up in a ball and just cry and literally beg the spirit to talk to God for me. Right now my dad is weak, but the Spirit is strong. God is strong. And we are strong. Will you please join us in praying this weekend that my dad would lean into the power of Christ and receive the strength he needs to do this? And one other thing :-) If you have a moment to encourage my dad via Facebook or caring bridge or email, I know it would be appreciated. He needs all the support he can get right now, so let's blast him with love, encouragement, and lots of prayers! Thank you friends!!
In just one short sleep, you will be two years old. I feel like it's going to be a great year for you, because "TWO" is your favorite number. Just ask anyone who knows you well. This is the number of everything that you want. Dolls, suckers, cups, blankies, and especially passi's. (Yes, you are still ever-so-attached to sleeping with TWO pacifiers). You get so excited when there is two of anything because you can yell, "Two!". Yes Kinley Gates, TWO, will be a great year for you.
I was in our room looking for a book to lend someone tonight and I came across something that brought a huge smile to my face. Just seeing this book made me instantly think of you. My Kinley Bear, my first-born child of my heart. Well, it made me smile, then laugh, then cry tears of joy...
Although you're too young now, you will appreciate the humor in this concept someday, so I wanted to share it with you, in case I ever forget. This is how your dad and I set out on our journey to have a family. With two determined personalities, two very strong spirits, and a, "How to Choose the Sex of Your Baby" book. 6 months after I read this book, God humbled us. 12 months after I read this book, God broke us. TWO years after I read this book, God restored us, and laid a new dream on our hearts. The dream of adoption. Four years after I read this book, a tiny little miracle was born.
May 18th, 2010, you were born from your birth-mother's belly, straight into our hearts. Words cannot describe how much we have loved you from the first moment they place you in our arms. And you continue to light up our world, EVERY.SINGLE.DAY.
Kinley, you make so many people happy. You bring so much joy to our world. You still have the best giggle of all time. You have one of the best smiles of all time. And you are definitely our all-time-favorite TWO year old.
You love playing in the water
You love love love love LOVE cake!
Your second "Gotcha" Day
So intense. You love going to Peter Piper.
You constantly climb into or onto anything
you can.
You still LOVE to read.
You love Emery so much. I can't tell you
how many times per day I hear, "Sissy!"
This month we welcomed your first cousin
into the family.
You love Baby Charley
She makes you smile :)
This is you in your tent, with all your stuffed
animals, on an important phone conversation.
This is a frequent occurrence.
This is you hugging every Disney character that comes
on the screen. :)
You and Emery are growing up to be such beautiful girls
who love each other so much. It's my favorite thing.
Baby girl, you make me so happy every day. So proud to be your mom. I can't wait to see what this year has in store for you. Another whole year of adventure that God has given us the privilege of walking you through. I'm so happy God showed us a new plan. I'm so happy he showed us YOU.
I am writing this letter to you today about three months after we celebrated our first Christmas together. I wish that I had been able to actually get this completed back in January when my memories were a little more fresh, but alas, I am finding that you girls are A LOT of work. :-) Finding time to write love letters to you is sometimes harder than I wish it was. You keep your mom and I so busy that the second most common word I use to describe being a dad is "tiring." How you girls have the energy you do I will never know! We chase you all over the place! All that being said, the most common word I use to describe being a dad is "amazing." And since that word is my favorite one to use when I talk about my two little girls, it's also a very fitting place to start as I describe to you our first Christmas all together. It truly was...amazing.
Before I go into too much detail about Christmas, I wanted to update both of you on just what new things my princesses were doing at this stage of your lives:
Kinley at 19 months...
Kinley Bear
Kinley, you are growing so much and so fast. You recently visited the doctor and they are placing you in the 90th percentile for height! How you are growing so much, we aren't really sure, because you are the pickiest eater of all time! :-) You pretty much limit your diet to anything sweet, with your particular favorite being candy....which you get plenty of when you go to Grandma's house. You love to wave and give hugs. You give great big bear hugs, which is perfect, since you are the Kinley Bear. You will run full speed from across the room and jump into my arms. You squeeze me so tight as you grit your teeth and quint your eyes...it's absolutely incredible. You also love to sneak up behind mommy or I and hug our legs. It's the best surprise to get Kinley hugs you don't see coming. You still are CRAZY active. You are a full sprinter, and you are at your most happy when you are "outsiiiiide" where you can run wild and free. You still love to read, and some of your current favorite books are "Where the Wild Things Are" (you love saying "MAX!") and "That's Good, That's Bad" (you love saying "noooooo" along with whoever is reading it to you). Speaking of "nooooo", you have gotten exceptionally good at your use of this word. Maybe a little too good. ;-) In December your vocabulary was really starting to take off. You became an expert at pretty much every animal sound, and you were a great teacher to your sister who was just starting to pick some up. You seemed to learn a new word everyday, but your favorite one by far was the word "scary". You constantly used it to describe everything. To you, everything was "scaaary". Every movie, every person, every room, everything. Some people didn't know quite how to react when you would point to them and say "scary", but your cute smile and big blue eyes would help calm them down. This month you branched out from your exclusive obsession of only watching Baby Einstein and Mary Poppins, and to our relief, began to fall in love with many other movies. You love "booty and bees" (Beauty and the Beast), and Belle has quickly become your favorite princess. You love to call the Beast "scary" of course, but can't get enough of the movie. To my greatest joy, you also love to dance to all of the songs. You spin in circles and dance constantly just like Belle, and you absolutely melt my heart everytime you look at me and ask "dada dance?" You hold your hand out, put your head on my shoulder and we spint to the music. I honestly could dance with you for hours. It's one of those moments I cling to as a dad every time we do it. Can you please do me a favor baby girl? Can you always ask me to dance with you? Even when you're older and you think your dad is a big dork, can you please still ask me to dance? It would mean the world to me. I can never have you do that enough.
Emery at 11 months...
Emery Bug
Emery, I remember back in December being absolutely mystified that you were almost one! You had grown up so fast and turned into an absolute hamball! It is becoming quite clear already that you have quite the sense of humor, and you love to make people laugh. Your goofball expressions and sound effects are a constant on every car ride, and no one laughs harder at your antics then yourself. You love to giggle at everything you do, and your giggle is absolutely contagious. Also, your mommy and I never thought it could be possible to have a child more active than you big sister, but you Miss Emery have to take the cake. You NEVER want to sit still. Ever. You crawl everywhere constantly, and go nearly a million miles an hour. You never like to just sit on the couch and relax with mommy and daddy. There is way too much to see and to do...and besides, you have a big sister to follow around everywhere she goes. Well this month you finally decided that crawling just wasn't cutting it, and you began to walk. I think it only took you a day and a half to go from nervous, wobbly steps, to fully efficient speedwalker. You zoom from corner to corner of the house virtually non stop all day. That partly explains another aspect of your personality that we love....your appetite. Clearly someone who is ALWAYS moving needs a lot of energy. You fuel that energy with a monster appetite that sees you gobbling up most everything we put on your tray. You love solid foods, especially eggs, meats, and cheeses. While your sister loves the sweets like mommy, you love the good proteins like your daddy. To keep up with your appetite, you are popping teeth at a record rate and are catching up to your sister quite quickly. You love to read, and by far your favorite book is "Brown Bear, Brown Bear". Watching you waddle over, struggle to pick up the large book, and walk it over to me is a sight to see. You then turn around and back your little butt right into my lap. When you want me to read to you you are quite insistent. You also are becoming quite the chatterbug, and the only word we hear more than "mama" and "dada" is "more". Everytime your sister says a word, you try hard to say the exact same thing. You have a killer growl....no one does a better bear, lion, or tiger sound than you. The only time that you slow down is when your mommy or I give you a bottle. You sit on our laps and snuggle on our chests. You love when mommy holds you, and you love to rest your head on her shoulder, or bury your face into her neck. There are so many things to love about you Emery Bug. However, I think that right now the thing that I love best is that even though you have grown into a walking, talking "big girl"....you still only have one person that can get you to sleep at night....your daddy. You usually can go to sleep pretty well on your own, but on the nights you have a hard time there is nothing mommy or anyone else can do. You need me...and I love it. I cradle you in my arms, bounce slowly on my toes and sing you whatever Disney song pops in my head. You stare at me, and often reach up and touch my face with your left hand. I can't help but smile at you. You eventually fall asleep, but I'll keep rocking you for a long time after. I just don't want to put you down. I want you to be my baby forever. Can you please do me a favor Emery? Can you always let me hold you? Can you always come to me first when you need help? Even when you're older and so cool, can you still climb in your daddy's arms when you need help? It would mean the world to me. I can never have you do that enough.
Our first Christmas together....
Just a little nervous...
You see what you have to understand is girls, your mommy and I love Christmas. For both of us growing up Christmas was a HUGE deal in our families. Both Nonnie and Poppie and Grandma and Grandpa taught their kids to love Christmas, and we both grew up with all sorts of traditions and special memories. Because of that, ever since your mom and I got married, we have loved celebrating Christmas in our little family. We love to decorate (we have like 96 tubs worth of Christmas decorations), we love to pick out our tree (real trees....no fake trees....this is very important, your dad will be very upset if you ever get a fake tree), we love Christmas lights (including the annual Gates family trip to Zoolights), we love gifts (especially giving them....okay, well, we like receiving them too), we love Christmas Eve with my family, and Christmas day with mommy's family, we love the music (you will love Christmas music - not an option in this family), we love cookies, and we especially love waking up together to celebrate Christmas morning.
This year we got to experience all of these things with the two of you....our precious girls. We have to tell you spending Christmas with "our girls"made everything that much better. We did so many fun things as a family. You girls got to visit Santa for the first time. You were definitely a little nervous, but as you left, Kinley you let out a loud "bye bye Santa" complete with a big wave. You both mastered your "ho ho ho", and Emery's your's is quite deep and impressive. You both got beautiful Christmas dresses, and everyone (and I mean EVERYONE) that saw you in them let out a loud "awwwww". You loved seeing all of the Christmas lights, and our nightly walks as a family were that much more fun as you both would say "ooooooh" at all of the light displays (especially the house of "cul-de-sac guy" - that's what mommy and I call him - who is like Chevy Chase on steroids). You got to help decorate our Christmas tree, which we put on a 4' tall table, so that you both couldn't pull it down. You spent Christmas Eve in Tucson with the Gates side of the family, and you met many of daddy's cousins, aunts, and uncles (and of course spent quality time with your aunts and uncles). You loved the baby dolls and Minnie Mouse tricycles Grandma and Grandpa got you. You spent Christmas day with the Hodge side of the family, and got loved on everyone over at Nonnie and Poppie's. You especially loved the new piano and kitchen set that they got you. We absolutely loved watching everyone love on you two. You were showered with gifts, hugs, and love. You were the star attractions everywhere you went. It almost seemed like Christmas this year in both of our families was all about you two....and it brought us such joy.
However, the best memory of all was our first Christmas morning with you girls. We woke you both from your cribs, and you walked out to your first visit from Santa. You had so many new presents, including your new bean bags, your new table, new books, new blocks, new stroller for your babies, new puppets, new clothes, etc. Like every Christmas you will ever spend with mommy and daddy, we had "Christmas with the Ray Coniff singers" playing on our iPod. Mommy made a special chocolate pancakes for everyone. You were both more interested in the wrapping paper than most of your presents, but there were defintely a few highlights. Kinley, you loved the Belle doll that mommy and daddy got you from the Disney store in New York. You danced with it and began sleeping with it every night. Emery, you loved your piano most of all, and you loved to bang the keys to make sure everyone notices you. The whole experience was so surreal. I remember thinking constantly throughout the day, how few of these Chrismas mornings I will actually get with my girls. I remember thinking how intensely I want to remember each one of them, because before I know it they'll be gone and you will be starting your own traditions with your own families. While I understand that day will come, selfishly I want to hold it away. All I can say is, our first Christmas together was the best one of my life. It left me eagerly anticipating the next one....and the next one....and the next one. You two have this unique ability to just make great things in life that much greater. I love Christmas. It's our reminder of just how much God loves us, and it's our celebration of the gift he sent in His son. While none of us will ever receive a Christmas gift better than that one, I'm pretty sure that simply getting to spent Christmas morning with my Kinley and my Emery for the next 20 years will be a close second.
So lucky to be yours,
Daddy
Guess who can walk now?
Staying up all night to put your trikes together for Grandpa.
Your own personal bean bags. You love them!!
Loving our new bean bags!
You love eating everything...including presents.
Your stockings from Grandma and Grandpa's
Openings presents with Aunt Julie and soon-to-be-Baby Charley
(your cousin is in her belly!)
Kinley and Grandma, holding her new "baybeeee"
Such a big girl.
Gates Family ornament exchange.
So excited on Christmas morning.
Kinley dances with Belle, her new favorite toy.
Opening presents with your favorite person....mommy.
Emery eats everything.
Mommy and Daddy's present. YES!!!
You LOVED Christmas morning Kinster!
Your kitchen from Nonnie and Poppie!
You won't stop playing piano Ems!
Almost ready to start cooking with Aunt Jamie
Loving Uncle Brandon
So many presents!
Gates Family pictures
Hodge Family pictures
Look who's front and center.
Cutest girls ever. EVER!
Gangsta.
Kinley laughing hysterically at Holden, Aunt Jamie's dog.
You girls loved Christmas lights!
At Zoo Lights with Mommy.
Mommy and daddy went to New York!
You two stayed with Aunt Jamie and Uncle Josh!
They love both of you so much. You guys had a lot of fun!
But....you helped them decide to hold off on having kids
for a little while. :-)
